10 am: Come in and check emails. Yell at Planner Guy because the brief has holes in it. Read Metafilter. Avoid doing timesheets. Hope that Candy project just goes ahead and dies, because you just can’t think of any more ideas to sell stupid candy.
11 am: Go to concepting session for an airline project, selling tickets to England. You and your partner sit in silence and scribble in your notebooks until somebody goes, “WOULDN’T IT BE COOL IF…” Come up with a really neat idea to make a “holodeck” view of London, as a PR stunt in LA. Cross fingers client will actually buy the damn thing. Write the idea down.
12 pm: Get shot in the neck with a Nerf bullet. Seek revenge.
12.30 pm: Present the concept deck you made last week to Account and the Chief Creative Officer. You really want to make a plane drag a banner made of LED lights for a lighting company, and fly it around big cities. Smart! On brief! CCO loves it! Account Team doesn’t think it’s “viral” enough. Fuck you.
1 pm: Oh shit, you have a client presentation for an insurance company at 2. Ha ha, you forgot to incorporate the feedback from the Strategy team. No worries, just a few tweaks. But that means no time for lunch. You procrastinate, read Metafilter, make changes in last fifteen minutes.
2 pm: Print that fucker out, get in car, go to client, shoot up 15 floors, get grilled by client about things like “KPIs.” You have no idea how to answer, start kicking Account Guy under the table. Account bro’s got your back!
3 pm: Come back to office, joke with Account Guy about what juicebox the client is. Grown up frat guy much?
4 pm: Metafilter, Metafilter, Metafilter, coffee. Emails. Oh, god, Candy Project is back. It’s like a zombie—it won’t die, keeps coming back, and always looks worse. Planner Lady wants to make a Facebook app in which users can submit their favorite candy stories. You wish somebody would shoot you with real bullets. You sigh, you let her have her app. Because you don’t have any more ideas for this one, remember?
5 pm: Make a more formalized write-up for the “holodeck.” Research 360-degree projection capabilities. Find a company who could do it. Yesssss. You want this one.
6 pm: Creative Director laughs at your “holodeck.” You ask him why, but he won’t tell you. He lets you run with it, and you know he’ll defend from the client it when the time comes. Good Guy Boss.
7 pm: Email. HOLY SHIT, THERE’S THIS BRIEF FOR HEAVY MACHINERY AND WE’RE GOING TO BRIEF YOU AT 7. Get mad. Why couldn’t they have briefed you earlier? Tell them they can brief you in the morning.
Rinse and repeat.Add to favorites